“People mourn their loss of independence in marriage with the birth of their first child…”
This quote jumped out at me today. Not because I am mourning the loss of my independence, but because I am mourning the loss of my sense of purpose.
All I have ever wanted to be in my life is a mother. Even when I was a child and someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, that was my response. (at least that is what my mother tells me.)
So I grew up, got married and eventually had 2 wonderful children. I felt fulfilled – like my life had purpose. Then my children got older.
I am no longer spending my time
- Reading to them
- Cooking for them
- Taking them places
- Playing with them
- Going to sports games
- Doing art/ science projects
- Exploring new places
- Going to the park
I no longer feel like I have a purpose – though that isn’t really true. My purpose changed when I wasn’t looking and I am feeling unprepared.
It isn’t about
- Teaching them how to cross the street safely – now I have to teach them how to watch for pedestrians when driving.
- Teaching them how to read – now I have to monitor what they are reading, or if they are reading
- Teaching them about sharing – now I have to teach them how to deal with peer pressure
- Teaching them about stranger danger – now I have to teach them about dating
- Teaching them about the world – yep, still have to do that one
I am not sure how to teach my children what they need to know to be ready for life as an adult – I am not sure I am ready for life as an adult and yet here I am living it.
Today I realized that part of becoming a better me involves teaching them how to become better people too.
I want my children to grow up to be healthy and happy – to be people of character. That means letting them make their own choices and teaching them to not let fear rule them.
Everyone has fears, but moving forward despite those fears is a skill that enables people to achieve their dreams. Not doing something because you are afraid you will fail is not a good reason. Sometimes we have to make the choices that scare us the most – because it will help us become better people.
If you missed the other articles in this series you can check them out with these links:
Start Here This article is about why I started this project in the first place.
Introduction I don’t always read the introductions to a book, but I am glad I read this one.
Chapter 1 When was the last time you were inspired by something?
Chapter 2 Enjoy your family right now.
Chapter 3 – Part 1 Parenting is not about 1 great success
Chapter 3 – Part 2 – What word do you measure your parenting success by?
Chapter 3 – Part 3 – Screaming is a good thing?
Chapter 3 – Part 4 – What stories are your children listening to?
Chapter3 – Part5 – What choices have you made?