Building Better Families #1 – What Questions Do You Ask?

How many conversations at your house start with one of the following questions?

  • Did you get your room clean?
  • Do you have any homework?
  • What time do you need to be at practice?
  • Did you feed the cat?
  • You aren’t going to wear that are you?
  • What do you mean you can’t find your phone?


It seems like I am always asking my kids these kinds of questions, sometimes even before I say hello.

And then I wonder why my kids don’t talk to me anymore.

After reading the introduction to Matthew Kelly’s book I started thinking more deeply about how I interact with my kids.

I have a tween daughter (11) and a teen daughter (17) and sometimes it seems like all I am doing is talking about school, telling them what to do (or not do) or telling them what they are doing wrong.  Not the most fulfilling conversations.

4901504010_5f7228c640_mI remember when they were small and we would play games together, go to the park, read books and enjoy spending time together as a family. Suddenly all of that is gone and I am not quite sure how it happened.

In the introduction of Building Better Families a mother talks about a question she started asking her son:

“What did you do today to become a better version of yourself physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually?”

That seemed like a very important question so I tried it and asked both of my girls.  I was surprised and more than a little upset by their response.

“Why do you care so much all of a sudden?”

Wow – talk about a wake-up call.

I realized that we had gotten so busy with life that we had lost our connection to each other.  Now the struggle is going to be to find ways to reconnect.

Of course that is part of why I am reading this book in the first place. I have high hopes for finding some specific ways that I can reconnect with my kids.

Stay posted and we will see what happens.